rikalous:

keirangoldenwatch:

nidoranduran:

lyraeon:

patrickat:

lyraeon:

Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.

GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”

The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.

• When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
• Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
• Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
• Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
• Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
• Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
• The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.

GM:  Ronan raises the hammer, preparing to slam it into the earth.

Peter:  I dance to distract him!

GM:  …what?

Peter:  I dance.  To distract him.

GM:  …roll it.

Peter:  *rolls a nat 20*

GM:  For fucks sake.

• Drax’s player couldn’t make it to the first session, but it was Groot’s player’s first time and Rocket’s player wanted to make sure they got some experience with the system, so they spent the whole time messing around with the combat rules. When it was time to go, the GM made a joke about them all getting arrested, and someone suggested they make that the actual beginning of the campaign.
• Groot’s player being a rookie is also the reason they rolled a Strength check while everyone was still planning out the prison break. The GM just started grinning and told the party to roll for initiative.
• Rocket’s player actually did have a plan for that prosthetic leg, but the GM ruled against it being feasible after Peter’d already retrieved it.
• When Drax shot Ronan, his player rolled minimum damage. Dice were punished for that.
• By the rules, Groot was irrevocably killed. Everyone just decided him regenerating worked better than a statistically identical tree creature showing up at the next planet.