Rhodey: Okay fine, but we’re turning it into a Hummer. Corvette’s are completely show-off-y, uselss, mid-life crisis cars. Tony: I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that, Honey Bear.
Thank you guys for the prompts and so sorry for the wait! This definitely got a little more intense than my original plan… 😛 But no regrets! Here is the Sciencelings’ attempt at an (ill-advised) birthday present. They tried
in the time it takes for the jet to be prepared for wakanda, steve stops by the compound lab. he doesn’t really know why. bruce has already told him about tony, and even if he hadn’t, the fact was plastered all over the media. (the fact was in bruce’s voice instead of tony’s, crackling over the phone, “we need you.”)
Steve breaks out of the containment room he wakes up in and he runs. He takes out a few men pretending to be Army, avoids the fake women, and runs. He gets out onto the street, feet taking him fast and far despite their tingling awareness of “awake”. He runs until his body feels like his own again, shoving past more people until one body doesn’t move.
Steve slams into them, spilling hot liquid -he thinks it’s hot- down the fronts of them both. Steve is more shocked that the guy hadn’t moved, too shocked to really take in the surrounding city yet. Part of him registers the smell of New York, something that never changes, but another part registers too much noise.
But the man hadn’t moved.
“Well, I certainly hope you can afford drycleaning, handsome,” the man says, peering at Steve over red-tinted glasses.
“You didn’t move,” Steve says dumbly.
“Generally not when I’m perfectly taking up my own space. Especially not when someone looks like a purse snatcher.”
“Purse snat-what?” Steve is panting, arms akimbo, confusion and distress probably radiating off of him like crazy.
The man cocks a brow then his head.
“Pretty hardcore jog you got there. Late for a date?”
Steve’s heart is ground to dust beneath the man’s expensive-looking heel. His head is reeling, his soul aching. He looks around at the ad-ridden Square and takes a breath, buries it all deep down.
“Actually, yeah… Yeah, I had a date. She’s… She’s probably long gone by now.”
The man is quiet for a moment and looks off to Steve’s left.
“How about that?” He says to himself then smiles at Steve, and Steve is struck by a sense of familiarity.
“Turns out I just spotted someone I really don’t want to speak with, so you’re going to let me buy you a coffee while I replace mine, and you can tell me all about this pretty lady you let get away.” he takes Steve’s elbow, and Steve… lets him, and guides him into a shop that doesn’t smell like coffee at all, but as the door swings shut behind them, a girl behind the counter calls out.
Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego “Iron Man,” under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting “I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]” out of the open window.
A+ Concept, I love it, I’m dying, it’s too good.
It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there’s some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there’s a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there’s now teens doing drive-by’s being like “Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark – I LOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]”. The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up.
The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme (”I love sucking UP TO JESUS”) that goes very very badly (exactly how you’d expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony.
Everybody should know better than to sue Tony.
His lawyers tear them apart. There’s an unholy grin on Tony’s face during the entire publicized case – he’s in a rainbow suit. He’s in rainbow shades. He’s wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says “I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]”. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That’s your image. It’s usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death.
LemonGrenade 