Listen. This scene. This messed me up. It isnāt just a party. He hears bombs in the music. He sees the wounded in winestains. Heās got PTSD, and he does his damnedest to hide it. Even from himself, but it still creeps in.
And then thereās Peggy. Everything he hoped for. A promise of a future. Of love. Of a life.Ā āWe can go home. Imagine itā¦ā
But he turns around, and the hall is empty. Even in his dreams, he canāt imagine it. Everyone that got to go home, is gone. And heās been left behind. There will never be a going home party for Steve Rogers. He knows it, and it hurts like hell.Ā
Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other personās love language.
Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?
And I was like āi donāt mind waitingā cause I never want to run
But they said they wanted every minute they could get because Iām so busy usually
Which is when it clicked that I didnāt get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didnāt see MY signs of affection in them and went ācool! Casual buds it is.ā But now that Iām seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.
Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!
Fyi- just in case you didnāt know.
TOUCH got a bro that likes to give high fives? Back slaps? Are they a hugger? Do they not blink an eye at cuddles?
QUALITY TIME this bro will (as op stated) sprint to spend every minute possible with you. Every second that you guys are together is a declaration of affection.
WORDS does your bro tell you how amazing and great and fantastic and wonderful you are all the time? Guess what�
GIFTS do they buy you coffee? Snacks, energy drinks, spot you at the restaurant? Did that one key chain remind them of you? Ding ding!
ACTS are they always doing things for you? Ie: Nah bro, I got this, I can do that, need me to get anything for you, I can help with�
PRO TIP – The way people show love is often how they receive love as well.
Okay, this warrants some further dissection, and Iāve got @maichan808ās blessing on this so STEP INTO MY OFFICE. Or as I like to call it:
I canāt honestly say Iāve ever given a tremendous amount of thought to how the fuck Captain America gets dressed in the morning (as opposed to how he gets undressed or is undressed by someone else, ahem), but now that the questionās been posed and @maichan808 suggested I do a full post about it, I went down that rabbit hole in about .5 seconds flat because Iām a librarian and a costume nerd and this is how we do. SO.
Not only is Capās uniform pretty fascinating from a costuming perspective (although uniform functionality for Cap as a character and functionality for the costume department are two totally different things, as Iāll mention later), but itās also useful and interesting to think about for fic or art purposes. Because, letās face it, fandom spends an incredible amount of time writing about Cap getting naked, and the logistics of⦠how he actually⦠does that are kind of cool when you dig into it.
So hereās what we have for Capās uniforms spanning from Captain America: The First Avenger to Avengers: Infinity War, and Iāll break each one down from there.
From L to R: Captain America: The First Avenger, Avengers, Thor: The Dark World (which I disregard here), Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Captain America: Civil War, Spider-Man: Homecoming (also disregarded for the purposes of this post, but itās the same uniform as Avengers 1), and Avengers: Infinity War.
Much like the character, Capās uniforms evolve over time and get increasingly more complex and intricate, and there are large and small variations based on who directed the movie. For instance, Joss Whedonās Cap looks cartoonish and extra spangly in Avengers and even Ultron, to a lesser extent, because Joss is overly married to comics!Cap and very literal in his interpretation of the character, while the Russo Brothersā Cap is more of a study in how a practical uniform would have to look and function in the Real World. (As someone whoād like to push Whedon out an airlock, I donāt think itās coincidental that this is an excellent metaphor for where those movies diverge thematically and in terms of Capās character development.) Which is why we have lycra and red go-go boots on the one hand, and the gift that is the stealth suit on the other.
The question that was posed originally, and which started this whole rabbit-hole dive, is a) how the fuck does Cap get in and out of this thing (or better yet, have someone remove it FOR him), and b) is it actually a onesie? Because thatās what the hell it looks like, and thanks to Spider-Man: Homecoming, we now know how superhero onesies come off.
As much as Iād love to see that, letās start with Capās uniform in The First Avenger. With bonus Bucky.
There are a greater amount of seemingly useless buckles and straps on this one, but you can just about see how the costume comes together if you look closely. Itās three pieces including the pants (but not counting his gloves, boots, etc.)
As far as I can tell, it looks like his uniform consists of the main part of the top, with white sleeves and a white torso with two red stripes/buckles. The second piece is a set of epaulettes-slash-crop top that fits over his shoulders, buckle twice around his biceps, and then also attach to the red buckles. Then it comes behind his shoulder blades, where you can see itās a separate piece of fabric. Sorry if this gif is a dick punch, guys.
The grey stripe below the star is where it ends, which you can tell more clearly here based on the slight shadow beneath the stripe.
Itās an interesting approach and actually pretty functional.
Weirdly, his uniform in the promo images looks more seamless, although that could just as easily be Photoshop. a separate top part would be way more breathable and easy to move around in.
No bells and whistles but still gives him extra padding/armor where he needs it around the shoulders, which is pretty appropriate if youāre running around on the Western Front during WWII.
Next isĀ Avengers, which Iām going to spend the least amount of time on because itās the easiest to dissect from a costume perspective and also the most boring/ridiculous, IMO.
You can see pretty clearly that itās two pieces, a top and pants, and if we ignore the super stylish decorative zippers for a moment, you can see in the picture to the right where the top zips up, and that the area around the star would fasten with velcro. Much easier to change in and out of, but: yawn.
The Winter Soldier was the first real break we saw from the comic-book style of visuals and costuming for all the characters. (And not just Cap. Black Widowās uniform becomes more practical-looking and less cartoonish as well, but the difference was most obvious with Steve.)
Not only did he get a costume made of kevlar and not lycra, with strategically padded areas and functional details like cargo pockets, arguably much more practical in the field, but we got the stealth suit, which reduced the spangly factor significantly and made him look like an actual special forces operative. He fits right in with his team, except that heās in navy blue, not black, and still has the star on his chest and the cowl. There is only the tiniest bit of dark red on the sides, if you look closely. Overall, as the name impliesāstealthy. But more importantly, itās realistic, like Cap might actually be out there in the real world saving people and doing things, and not just as comic book character.
This costume not only set the tone for the movie, IMO, but it introduced a level of design complexity in the MCU that takes some figuring out because itās not obvious how the suit does up. It does actually look like a onesie until you look more closely. And as a costume nerd, Iām impressed by how well-thought-out and cleverly designed this costume is. Not surprisingly, they went so far as to pattern all his other uniforms off this one, with minor differences depending on the tone of the movie and the director, which I further break down below.
Ultron (Whedon):
Civil War (the Russos):
I love how the Russosā vision of cap is so restrained, practical, and realistic while still capturing the iconic costume/imageāno loud colours, not even the white stripes, but itās still obviously Cap and representing everything he stands for. Whereas with Ultron Cap, itās like Whedon canāt help himself, putting him back in spangly colours and random red-and-white accents that take the tone the Russos painstakingly created in Winter Soldier and sends it eighteen steps backwards. Kind of like Ultron did as a movie overall.
Iāll include a shot of Cap in Avengers: Infinity War too, but itās important to note that itās the same suit he wore in Civil War, just dirty, beat to all hell, and with the star ripped off. Because the costume designers were clever enough to factor in that Steve probably wouldnāt be picking up an edgy new uniform as an internationally wanted fugitive. But then I started thinking about what state of mind Cap would have had to be in to claw the fucking star off his uniform, and then I had to go sit quietly by myself for a few minutes.
In terms of how the costumes are constructed in Ultron, Civil War, and Infinity War, theyāre very similar. To address the most basic thing first: no, itās not a onesie. Itās less obvious in the movies, and Iāll touch on why in a minute, but from behind-the-scenes pics, we can see there are two distinct pieces they strategically hide with a belt.
Letās start with the jacket.
In this picture, you can see fairly clearly that the jacket isnāt one seamless piece, like a shirt. It wouldnāt be practical with this stiff kevlar, and take it from someone who used to have to wear head-to-toe kevlar as a competitive fencer: that shit can be stiff as hell, and Capās uniform is also padded to make getting dressed and undressed extra difficult while protecting him from minor inconveniences like bullets and people trying to kill his ass. At the neck there are symmetrical sections that come forward over his shoulders and fasten on either side of his neck and chest, likely with velcro. (Can we also appreciate the attention to detail in adding a tag with ROGERS below the shoulder? In case anyone forgets who the suit belongs to? Iāve watched TWS eleventy billion times and never noticed this.)
This shot from IW shows that there is a piece that comes up over the backs of his shoulders, although itās a little difficult to distinguish from his harness. You can see the shiny edge of the leather harness, though. The bit right below it is part of his jacket that comes over the shoulder.
And this shot from Civil War clearly shows thereās a place where the jacket separates and fastens down, probably also with velcro.
What I imagine is that Capās uniform jacket probably goes on a bit like a straitjacket (with the arms free, obviously), where heād stick his arms into it from behind and then do it up the back and over the shoulders.
What I think is most hilarious about this is heād probably need help getting in and out of that thing, which Iāll let your imaginations run wild with at your discretion. That scene in in Civil WarĀ when Cap tells everyone to suit up at the airport? You know the next shot was Sam and Bucky shoehorning him into his uniform and making sure all his velcro parts were stuck down before sending him out into the world to punch things.
Now for the pants. Steve does appear half in uniform in a couple different places in the filmsāironically both in Whedonās Avengers. The first in Avengers 1 where heās sitting at a conference table wearing a running shirt, and we can extrapolate from there that heās probably wearing pants underneath the table. Probably.
The other time is in AoU, when heās at Avengers Tower and just walking around in his uniform pants and, presumably, the undershirt he wears under his tac jacket.Ā Ā
This isnāt the exact shirt he wears at Old McBartonās farm in the movieāthat one is more blueābut clearly this style is his preference because heās a smedium until death it shows up multiple times in the movies.Ā (All of these shirts are made by Under Armour. You might argue that product placement is a thing, and Iād argue Steve is totally the kind of dork who believes in brand loyalty.)
That oneās for science.
The one other thing Iāll talk about is the difference between what is considered practical for Cap as a character, and what is considered practical for the costume departments. For Cap as a character, an athletic undershirt, tactical jacket, pants, and belt (plus the harness, gauntlets, gloves, boots, etc.) are what would be considered practical to keep him intact in the field and make it easy to get dressed and undressed without a team of stylists.
But for the costume departments, they have other considerations, like what will look the best and create the smoothest lines while still being easy to move in or breathe so their actors donāt drown in their own sweat on set. Which is how we end up in somewhat more wacky territory like that of the belly window. We all remember the belly window, right? If not, let me remind you.
This is where I go and contradict myself, because that? That is a belly-windowed onesie with a jacket that goes over top. Chris Evans on set wears a onesie; Captain America does not. (Again⦠probably.)
Hereās another because it looks suspiciously like Cevans is self-conscious of said belly window and trying to cover it up. Not that I blame him. Or maybe he just ate a taco that didnāt agree with him. Whoās to say.
The whole point of this is because a onesie with lots of mesh and spandex creates clean lines under a jacket, much like Spanx for superheroes, and wonāt show gaps when heās moving around and doing lots of stunts. Realistically, Capās uniform should show tons of gaps and ride up awkwardly and move around like crazy because itās two separate pieces, but thatās Hollywood magic for you. Costume designers have to think of these things and concede the point that Cap likely would be difficult to take seriously in a fight if he were flashing his midriff all the time. Just goes to show what they know, because blinding people with his abs would probably come in handy now and then.
So if youāre a writer or a fan artist or just a very curious individual who wants to know how Cap would get dressed or undressed, there you have it. This was a super long post, but these are things we as serious researchers need to know in the interest of attention to detail and accuracy.
But if you take away nothing else, just remember: that jacket is super awkward fastening up from behind, so Cap? Heās probably gonna need you to have someone give him a hand with that. Who you elect for the job is entirely up to yourself, but donāt leave the guy hanging.
Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came acrossā¦.something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slangāa cock compendium, if you willāthat dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesnāt do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, Iām Nimble WimbleĀ
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathonās got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubbās Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s – a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinderās Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum,Ā circa approximately 1670.
museum curator, watching steve waltz into the smithsonian, the memory of having the stolen cap america authentic howling commando era uniform returned dirty and ridden with bullet holes still fresh in their mind: hide the VALUABLES
steve, reaching over the rope to poke at something on display: itās my goddamn stuff???
IāM SAYINā, every single level of management at the Smithsonian must have had an extensively well-documented migraine after dealing with the colossal shitshow raised by such thrilling items asĀ āsock (woolen)ā pulled from the pack of one āRogers, Steve G., 1918 – 1945 lol whoops heās backā³
like i said in my initial reblog⦠all the people building stories out of this make me laugh with delight, but smithsonian & dc museum people adding their tags give me LIFE
⦠also steven grant rogers would be KIND and COURTEOUS to the front-line museum staff and not ask them stupid questions and you will pry that headcanon from my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch
oh steven grant rogers is KIND and POLITE and CONSIDERATE to front-line museum staff, he will politely move himself to the side so he doesnāt cause traffic issues if he gets recognized and a couple kids want pictures, he apologizes to security for causing a scene (he didnāt mean to! he thought his baseball cap disguise would work, bless him). he returns his maps (sweet and so unnecessary but then one of the volunteers can take a map captain america used and will probably sign for them back to their grandkids so thatās nice). the docents LOVE him; heās both a Nice Young Man and also from Back in Their Day.
the collections and conservation staff however have sworn a blood oath of pure vengeance against him and nothing he ever does will change their minds. the textile conservator (weāll call her lorraine) who had to restore the old captain america suit spent THREE YEARS OF HER LIFE on that stupid thing and itās still too unstable to ever exhibit again. lorraine went through FIVE INTERNS, two of whom CRIED ON HER. she had to spend a fourth year making a replica because everyone was writing their representatives that the captain america suit wasnāt on display and they MADE HER DO IT.
like if steve thought any debrief in wwii he ever had sucked lol try lorraine, who has given up trying to catalogue what the fuck happened to that piece of shit suit and finally tracked down his cell phone number after six months of this hell project out of sheer bloody mindness and desperation and tricks him into her office through a series of absolute goddamn lies about idk public programming or some shit that steve might actually care about and then corners him and makes him give her a play by play of what, exactly, the fuck he did to that suit.
cuz, okay, listen. blah blah save the world blah blah, but steven grant rogers* stole a priceless museum artifact, bled on it, set it on fire, dropped it into the potomac, dragged it (WHILE WET) through river mud and god knows how many plants and bugs and microbes, got melting plastic and metal and shrapnel and other peopleās body juices and skin and hair embedded in itāthe only reason he lives is because he can give the full and accurate account of what the fuck he did to it and answer questions of how the fuck it can be slightly, slightly unfucked. not saved! not made to look like it was! certainly not able to be put on a mannequin and exhibited again! but like she can get some more of the mud and that chunk of charred plastic out maybe. otherwise, lorraine would have murdered that dumb bitch in a fit of justifiable rage, and no amount of charming āsorry maāamās would fucking save him.
imagine bucky barnes stealing his jacket back. and making adjustments for his new armĀ
IMAGINE THAT LORRAINEĀ
Omg this post is the best that has ever happened to me during a subway ride!
I donāt even go here, and I love this post
As a museum worker it actually rather baffles me that his things ended up in the Smithsonian, because the US Forces actually have a SHIT TON of their own museums and having dealt with those Mo Goās on both sides of the conversation I just cannot envision them giving it up.
I CAN see each of those museums trying to argue for custody though. Nation museum of health and medicine? Steve was a science experiment in healthy soldering it totally belongs to us! Marine Corps museum? Steve was the first Marine OBViously give it here! NAW FUCK YALL IT BELONGS IN THE ARMY MUSEUM. WHICH ONE? WHAT DO YOU CARE GIVE IT HERE.
So like. Clearly the Commandos quietly split Steveās things up amongst their own and smuggled them home. As they died, they sent their own belongings along to each other, until only one was left with all of these trunks of memories and memorabilia and loss, and heās gotta be thinking, fuck the army what has it ever done for us or Steve and then he wills it to the National Museum of American History, whose PR officer has a freaking field day and the advancement team only sees dollar signs and meanwhile the conservatives are bemoaning the fact that these priceless treasures have been sitting all wadded up in a trunk being subjected to horrible humidity and temperature fluctuations and donāt get me STARTED on the IPM-
Anyway thatās why theyāre at the Smithsonian and not one of the Armed Forces museums.
1. I love how many fantastic additions this post has gained since I last saw it.
2. Everyone sayingĀ āthe Smithsonian would never surrender Steveās artifacts, or if they did it would only be after years of lawsuits and paperworkā: listen. LISTEN. Youāre not wrong about the strength of the Smithsonianās presumable legal claim, but also, the Smithsonian is approximately 60% federally funded. What do you think would happen if Captain Motherfucking America held a heartfelt press conference where he spoke about the magnitude of his personal loss and how heās being denied even the comfort of his old sketchbook drawings of the people he knew and loved? The Congressional switchboard would MELT DOWN under the flood of outraged calls from constituents, and the budget-conscious Smithsonian leadership would personally fist-fight the curatorial staff and then SIT on them while Steve strolled out whistling with boxes of his stuff under his arms.