Tag: peter parker

tony, seething with rage: fucking linda is always talking shit about peter and how he rolled over two days after her baby did at the weekly mommy and me brunch. like congrats, do you want a medal? we can’t ALL roll over a day before the neonate developmental chart says. you know what we CAN all do? get divorced. how’s craig been, huh, linda?— steve, placatingly: you wanna have some chocolate ice cream with edible glitter and pop rocks? — tony, about to cry: yeah i’d like that.

avengersasssemble:

I’m sobbing Tony would DEFINITELY be the dad to be like “PETER STOOD UP TWO WHOLE WEEKS BEFORE YOUR BABY, KAREN” and Steve has to bodily keep him from getting into fistfights at the weekly Mommy and Me bruncheon……….

Steve would be the dad who holds open Tony’s scrapbook of Peter’s Achievements and sighs when Tony points out Peter’s first laugh was right after Peter threw up on Steve so there’s an uncomfortable picture of Steve covered in baby barf…