Tag: swears //

anightvaleintern:

douglocked:

readasaur:

spoilersspoilerseverywhere:

tenkenryu:

simplycrazyhunter:

Squirrel Girl needs a movie.

omg yes

LISTEN UP YOU MAGGOTS

THIS CHARACTER IS BY FAR THE MOST POWERFUL, THE MOST INTERESTING, AND THE MOST WORTHY OF BEING YOUR ROLE MODEL EVER.

FIRST OFF SHE NEVER ONCE GOES GRIMDARK NOT ONCE AND WHEN SPEEDBALL WENT AND DID HIS STUPID CLIVE BARKER POINTS POINTED INWARD ARMOR THING SHE CALLED HIM OUT ON IT AND OUTRIGHT DECLARED SUCH A THING WAS CHILDISH AND MADE HIM INEFFECTIVE AS A HERO BECAUSE A HERO HAS TO BE APPROACHABLE.

ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT HER SUPERPOWER. YOU TAKE ONE LOOK AT HER AND THINK SHE’S JUST A LOSER RIGHT? WRONG. SQUIRREL GIRL HAS THE MUTANT POWER TO NOT ONLY HAVE SQUIRREL TRAITS BUT CAN ALSO COMMAND THE ABSOLUTE LOYALTY OF SQUIRRELS. HOW MANY SQUIRRELS? TRY EVERY SQUIRREL EVERY WHERE. FLYING SQUIRRELS, TREE SQUIRRELS, I BET YOU SOMEHOW SHE CAN EVEN COMMAND THE LOYALTY OF SOME SHITASTICALLY RARE POISON SQUIRRELS.

BECAUSE OF THIS POWER SHES MANAGED TO TAKE ON FOES THAT WOULD NORMALLY JUST INCINERATE HER ON THE SPOT. SHE TOOK ON DOCTOR VICTOR VON DOOM FOR PETE’S PATOOTS NOT A DOOM BOT THE ACTUAL DOCTOR DOOM AN ACTUAL SORTA ALIEN GOD CALLED THE WATCHER HAD TO ACTUALLY FACT CHECK THAT SHIT BECAUSE EVEN HE DIDNT BELIEVE IT AND THAT FUCKER NEVER INTERVENES FOR SHIT BUT HE HAD TO IN THIS CASE BECAUSE THE WORLD JUST COULDN’T BELIEVE SQUIRREL GIRL DEFEATED THE GENUINE DOCTOR DOOM HE WAS LIKE “OH HELL YEAH I HAVE TO COME DOWN AND FACT CHECK THIS SHIT THE UNIVERSE NEEDS THIS WHAT IM SURE GALACTUS CAN WAIT.”

ALSO HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTALOONS BEACUSE THIS LADY ACTUALLY TOOK ON GALACTUS AND WON.

GALACTUS YES THAT GALACTUS THE GIANT DUDE THAT EATS PLANETS SHE TOOK ON A SPACE GOD WITH NOTHIN GBUT MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRRELS.

SHE NEEDS A SERIES. A MOVIE, A FANBASE SHES JUST THAT AWESOME.

ALSO SHE’S PART OF A LOSER HERO TEAM CALLED THE GREAT LAKES AVENGERS AND ITS STAFFED BY A DUDE WHO CAN COME BACK TO LIFE WHEN HE DIES LIKE KENNY FROM SOUTH PARK

FUCK

IM DONE HERE JUST USE WIKIPEDIA ALREADY DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT

No, seriously, it has become something of a running gag that Squirrel Girl can defeat any villain.

Any. Villain.

She is like “Instant Fun, just add Squirrel Girl”.

I strongly recommend reading her adventures, they are just super-great. ^__^

(Minor correction, it is actually the Great Lakes Champions, not Avengers.)

(She also has a healing factor and enhanced strength among some other squirrel-themed powers.)

Marvel set up a system of gauging superheroes powers and based it largely on which characters have defeated and lost to other characters to determine what those power levels are.  Due to Squirrel Girl having defeated so many strong villains, they were forced to put every single power category at 7 out of 7.

She is the only Marvel character in history to achieve this.

image

The red are what fans think her power ratings should be.

Blue is canon ratings.

[source: http://marvel.com/universe/Squirrel_Girl ]

rikalous:

keirangoldenwatch:

nidoranduran:

lyraeon:

patrickat:

lyraeon:

Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.

GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”

The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.

  • When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
  • Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
  • Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
  • Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
  • Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
  • Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
  • The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.

GM:  Ronan raises the hammer, preparing to slam it into the earth.

Peter:  I dance to distract him!

GM:  …what?

Peter:  I dance.  To distract him.

GM:  …roll it.

Peter:  *rolls a nat 20*

GM:  For fucks sake.

  • Drax’s player couldn’t make it to the first session, but it was Groot’s player’s first time and Rocket’s player wanted to make sure they got some experience with the system, so they spent the whole time messing around with the combat rules. When it was time to go, the GM made a joke about them all getting arrested, and someone suggested they make that the actual beginning of the campaign.
  • Groot’s player being a rookie is also the reason they rolled a Strength check while everyone was still planning out the prison break. The GM just started grinning and told the party to roll for initiative.
  • Rocket’s player actually did have a plan for that prosthetic leg, but the GM ruled against it being feasible after Peter’d already retrieved it.
  • When Drax shot Ronan, his player rolled minimum damage. Dice were punished for that.
  • By the rules, Groot was irrevocably killed. Everyone just decided him regenerating worked better than a statistically identical tree creature showing up at the next planet.

chickenyaoi:

America is some fucked up dystopian shit honestly like how are y’all even surviving? Paying for healthcare? $60,000 on tuition? POC getting shot in Wal-Marts? White men shooting up elementary schools? That’s terrifying I’m worried about all of you

cishettears:

idk why police officers being monitored to make sure they’re performing their duties ethically and within legal parameters is such a controversial topic because if I recall they’re a fan of using the whole “if you’ve got nothing to hide you’ve got nothing to fear” shtick to justify harassing civilians it’s almost like they’re full of bullshit