Tag: steve rogers

tony, seething with rage: fucking linda is always talking shit about peter and how he rolled over two days after her baby did at the weekly mommy and me brunch. like congrats, do you want a medal? we can’t ALL roll over a day before the neonate developmental chart says. you know what we CAN all do? get divorced. how’s craig been, huh, linda?— steve, placatingly: you wanna have some chocolate ice cream with edible glitter and pop rocks? — tony, about to cry: yeah i’d like that.

avengersasssemble:

I’m sobbing Tony would DEFINITELY be the dad to be like “PETER STOOD UP TWO WHOLE WEEKS BEFORE YOUR BABY, KAREN” and Steve has to bodily keep him from getting into fistfights at the weekly Mommy and Me bruncheon……….

Steve would be the dad who holds open Tony’s scrapbook of Peter’s Achievements and sighs when Tony points out Peter’s first laugh was right after Peter threw up on Steve so there’s an uncomfortable picture of Steve covered in baby barf…

imagine a bit where bucky is practically all over tony, with his mouth on tonys ear, whispering ways to woo steve while steve is across the room staring daggers at bucky

musicalluna:

brandnewfashion:

HAHA THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE IT

“Hey,” Bucky says, flopping down onto the couch where Tony’s sitting. Helands close enough that their hips touch, his legs draped over
Tony’s.

Tony
glances at him and smiles. It just grows wider when Bucky leans in,
snaking his arm around his shoulder. “What’s up, Tin Soldier?”

Bucky
leans in, letting his nose brush up the length of Tony’s cheek. “You
wanna get with Steve, right?” he murmurs.

Tony
swallows, hesitates, and then nods. “Yeah,” he rasps. “God, do
I.”

Pressing
his smile into Tony’s temple, he says, “Good. Go along with me, all
right?”

He
can feel Tony’s heart starting to beat faster. “Whatever you say,
Blue Steel.”

Bucky
grins and turns his head so his lips are right against Tony’s ear,
his hand at the crook of Tony’s neck. Behind him, he hears Steve come
in.

He
catches the sound of a faint gasp, a hitch in Steve’s steps.

“He’s
into you,” Bucky whispers. “But he’s also a blockhead.”

“Yeah?”
Tony says, a little breathy, hopeful. Bucky listens hard to the sound
of Steve shifting in one spot, torn between the urge to stay and the
urge to run.

“Oh
yeah. Dumber than a brick. But he’s got a possessive streak. Say hi
to him.”

Tony
leans back a little and peeks around Bucky, says, like he’s just
spotted Steve, “Oh, hey, hi, Steve.”

After
a beat, Steve says stiffly, “Hi, Tony. Buck.”

Bucky
turns and gives him a sunny smile. “Hey, Stevie.” He makes sure
his hand around Tony’s neck is very obvious.

Steve’s
jaw ticks, and Bucky suppresses a smirk.

“C’mon,
sit with us, Steve,” he says and nudges Tony’s hip.

“Yeah,
sit with us,” Tony echoes—good man, he’s got this.

Steve
looks like he’d rather eat his boots, but Tony’s got his puppy eyes
turned up to eleven and Steve’s so gone it isn’t even funny.

He
sits stiffly on the couch next to Bucky.

Immediately,
Bucky turns his face back into Tony’s neck. He can picture the twist
of Steve’s face in perfect clarity. It’s not enough, so he blows
gently at the short hairs behind Tony’s ear and Tony twitches,
giggles.

“Buck,
that’s enough,” Steve says severely.

“Whaddaya
mean?” Bucky asks, faux innocent.

“Stop
it,” Steve says. “You know I—”

He
cuts himself off before he actually says it and Bucky smothers a huff
of annoyance. C’mon, spit it out!

So
he dives back in, pressing his nose to the delicate skin under Tony’s
ear, whispering nonsense. Steve’s ears are too good for anything real
at this distance.

“Dammit,
Bucky!” he snaps, and a hand wraps around his arm, jerking him
back. “It’s bad enough you went after my guy, at least keep it
decent in front of me, would you?”

Bucky
sits back, grinning triumphantly.

“Your
guy?” Tony echoes.

Steve’s
face is splotched red and white like it doesn’t know what to do, torn
between embarrassment and horror. “That’s—I mean—Tony—”

“Does
that make you my guy?” Tony asks, cutting him off and Steve just
keeps staring, gaping like a fish. Bucky taps his chin so Steve shuts his mouth and rocks onto
his feet.

“Smooth,
Rogers. You’re welcome, by the way.” Then he waves at Tony, winks.

“Thank
you,” Tony says earnestly and Bucky grins at him.

“Anytime.”

He’ll
let them work out the rest on their own.

ishipallthings:

elimymoons:

stevetonyatdark:

Tony, sitting on Steve’s lap: US Weekly says you don’t like me anymore.

Steve, thrusts hips upward: My dick is literally inside your ass right now, sweetheart.

Tony: b-but *moans* do you still like me?

@blossomsinthemist

#and then Steve manages not to roll his eyes and instead reaches up and frames Tony’s face in his hands and goes #yes I like you #I love you Tony#and Tony moans in relief and practically comes just from that ( @blossomsinthemist )